Monday, March 27, 2006

“…What I am essentially trying to say is that, not one of us is completely sane…I mean, there’s a little bit of insanity in all of us. The only difference is that, in some people it’s more pronounced and clearly defined…”

The car stopped in front of her house. She got out, and then waving back to her best friend, ran up the front door steps, and closed the door behind her. She’d made a habit of doing this ever since she was a child- rushing into the house, anytime after dark if she was alone. Not that she was scared of anything, but…it was just one of those little quirks that people have.

She dropped her bag and keys on the table, and took out a can of diet coke from the fridge. Pouring it into a glass, she remembered about the curtains. Just that morning she had realized that she detested the colour of the curtains. She’d have to get new ones soon. Funny, how she hadn’t noticed it all this while.

She changed into her pajamas, and drawing a blanket, settled on the couch. The movie channels usually played good movies at this time of the night. Surfing the channels, she found one, which played ‘basic instinct’, and another, ‘the specialist’. It was like a ‘sharon stone’s nudity’ marathon!

She took a sip from her glass, and took out her cell phone from her bag. Her inbox was almost out of space, so she decided to delete a few messages. After sorting, and deleting a few, she read (what was now) message 84. It was received early last year, and she read it everyday, ever since. She deleted the next few, and then started playing ‘snake’. Her highest score till date was 1995. Try as she might, she just couldn’t get to 2000.

The tickets for tomorrow’s dance recital were kept inside an envelope on the table. She considered telling her cousin that she hadn’t received them, but then remembered that the courier guy had her signature on his delivery receipt. Damnit!

Taking another sip of coke, she couldn’t help smiling to herself, as she reflected on her conversation with her best friend, on their way home. Poor Josh! Dumped again, and back to reading psychological thrillers. She decided to talk to him about this sometime. “…there’s a little bit of insanity in all of us…”. Well, at any rate, it was true in Josh’s case!

She remembered the time when her friends had wanted to “fix her up” with him. She’d been so mad at them…and embarrassed. Embarrassed because she knew exactly how Josh felt about her, and also that she’d never feel the same way about him…

Coming out of her reverie, she wondered whether procrastinating was a good idea when she had so much work to do. Her meeting with her publishers was due, tomorrow evening; which left her with just the morning in which to complete her article. Good thing that she used Microsoft Word for all her writings she thought; otherwise it would have taken her a whole day to type out everything.

With this prick of conscience, she forced herself up from the couch, and reluctantly went to her study. Sitting on the rotating chair, waiting for the computer to boot, she heard a loud, shrilly voice. ‘Here we go again’, she thought to herself as she grimaced. It was her neighbour…an old, senile woman, who’d probably been a teacher or a head mistress back in the day. Every night, she’d have these little fits and shout at her walls. ‘I don’t want to hear anyone talking’, ‘I’m getting angry’, ‘I will talk to your mother about this when I see her’. The admonitions would go on.

After what seemed like an hour, she still hadn’t made any progress on the article. Frustrated, she decided to call it a night. She’d just turned off the bed lamp when her neighbour started screaming again…louder. Making up her mind, that enough was enough she decided to call the old hag, and ask her to shut up.

When she called, there was no answer on the other end. The screaming, next door however, continued. Covering her ears with her pillow, she squeezed her eyes shut, and tried to sleep. Fortunately, her neighbour probably got tired of her own voice, and after a few more minutes, stopped shouting. Tired, and relieved by the silence, she fell into a deep sleep.

When she woke up the next morning, her mother was standing next to her. She held a box of kellog’s chocos in her hand. She smiled; and returning her smile, her mother sat down next to her. Stroking her daughter’s hair, she told her how beautiful she was. She was pleased. She was always pleased when people called her beautiful.

They chatted for a long time…about this and that. Her mother related a particularly funny anecdote, and she laughed till her sides hurt. Just when they were laughing like this, her neighbour walked into her room. Extremely surprised and taken aback by this unexpected entry, she didn’t know what to say. Her mother however looked perfectly calm and composed.

‘Its time for your medicine’, her neighbour said in the voice that made her grimace everytime she heard it. Still bewildered, she kept quiet. The neighbour produced a spoon and a bottle out of nowhere. Then she poured an amber coloured liquid from the bottle to the spoon, and walked decisively closer to her.

Now her bewilderment gave way to fear, and she turned to her mother for help. But her mother just stood up and smiled sweetly at her. In the meantime, the old neighbour had moved closer still, and now held the spoon barely two inches from her mouth.

‘C’mon now, open up…I haven’t got all day’, her neighbour said, and began to push the spoon into her mouth. She resisted frantically, and tried to move the spoon away, with her hands. But when she tried to move her hands, she found her mother holding them tightly. In another instant, her neighbour had forced the spoon into her mouth. Even as she fought desperately, she could feel the liquid trickling down her throat. Then…she had a black out.

The old lady looked at the mother and sighed. ‘I’m sorry you had to see this Mrs. Sinha. She was doing so well these last couple of days…’ The mother started crying, and then the two women, walked out of the room and locked the cell door.

When she came to again, it was probably early afternoon. Cursing herself for having overslept, she jumped out of bed. There was a box of kellog’s chocos on the table. She opened the box, and munched on the cereal as she waited for the computer to boot. It was then that she noticed the curtains. Just that morning she had realized that she detested the colour of the curtains. She’d have to get new ones soon. Funny how she hadn’t noticed it all this while.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

ok, so...the election comission has either totally LOST it, or is on a major power trip. our part 1 exams (the honours papers) are officially starting on the 11th of july! can you fuckin believe these punks? i mean seriously..what is wrong with them? just because they have no kind of life or identity beyond the four miserable walls of their miserable office, they've just assumed that the rest of the world is as miserable, and sad, and loser-ish, and goddamn wretched as they are. i mean...if you've made any plans during that time....you know a vacation thing, or an internship or...the occasional meeting up with the old school friends programme...sweetie you can just kiss everything goodbye. i mean...how a government body can be so bloody inefficient is just beyond me.
achha...this post makes no sense...i'm just angry...about a lot of things....and livid about this stupid postponement.
every once in a while, do you feel like you need to get yourself a shrink?....or atleast, you know....some sort of a councellor or someone who will listen to you first and then tell you whats wrong.....but then it shouldnt be in a condescending or pedantic way...just adult-to-adult talk...know what i'm sayin?..no?...o well.
i made stir fried corn the other day. other than the fact that it was a little raw n crunchy,...it tasted good. i was also thinking of baking a cake, but how do u bake cakes without eggs? i've never done that. (i know, i know...useless piece of info no.163) i donno why i keep doing that.
the other day, i went out with some of my old school friends. now...you know this churan shop called raman's in forum? so, the owner of the shop knows me pretty well, as in we say hi to each other n stuff. so the other day, me n my friends walked into the store, and one of my friends started tasting the diferent churans that they have laid out on th table. so naturally...we all followed suit. after tasting abt 6 different types, we finally bought a chocolate n came out. now...i had already walked across to the store on the right to check out this amazing shoe. when my friends came along, they said the store guys had made some comment abt us tasting everything n then just buying a choc. we were totally embarrassed, n when we saw the owner walking into the shoe store that we were in, we just ran for it, not knowing what to do. my friend joyee, n me...idiots that we are just hurried into the giny n johnny store, n tried to hide there! the owner guy was then pacing up n down in front of his store(we know this coz we peeped out of the store!) well anyway, aftyer abt 10 mins of 'hiding', we decided enough was enough, n came out, n thankfully my friend dipa who was looking for us, called me just then, n we crossed the owner guy, pretending to have a very serious phone covo, n not for once looking up at him!!!!!
now that u've very rightly inferred that i'm crazy, we can get better aquainted!
saw a pretty cool sean penn movie today....forgot the name...its directed by clint eastwood...speaking of whom...i saw million dollar baby the other day....yes first time.
anyway, aar kichhu as such bolar nei..so more later...