have you ever been to santiniketan?...no?...well i have. i've been going there every single year, ever since i can remember. you see, my mom was born and brought up there and my dad went to school there. so, the whole "rabindranath" influence has been on and around me all my life. but if you ask me, i'd say that now, it's really more of a 'sentiment' than a place, persay. it's difficult to explain this to somebody who's never been there. you can come with me the next time i go. our house there, isnt too big, and yet 20 people (or more) can be accomodated quite easily!
well, i just came back from there yesterday, so the hangover's not quite gone.
i just love december...there's so much to do! so many people come down from all over the world...it's really something!
sudu's planning to spend a quiet new year's eve with her parents. i think that's a very good idea. arent you tired of the same people, and the same music? isnt it more fun spending time with close fiends and family over dinner and the usual, timeless "adda"?!
anyway, i hope you all had a nice christmas...have fun during the remainder of the holidays. ttyl

i logged on today with the intention of completing and posting something that i started writing in arjun's class. but then it struck me, that the damn was just too personal to be put up for everybody to read. as usual, it was about ME (all my writings are about me, just so you know). but this time,...it was outrageous.
well, since i've made up my mind not to put it up, i might as well fill you in on the utterly uninteresting events of my life.
i have a lot to look forward to this week. some of my favourite people in the world, are coming to town, and a HUGE family reunion is on the cards! yeah! yeah!
ok...totally out of context(as usual), but at times, it just feels good to behave like a six year old. dont ask me why, or what exactly i'm referring to...havent a clue,...i just know that it feels GREAT! you know...the whole tantrum-throwing; being a stubborn brat thing? it ROCKS!
college finally got over today...thank god! though, i have to admit, that this year i'm finding it more bearable than the 1st year. what do you think?
anyway, thats all for now. adios!

ever since i was a child, till this very date, everytime i meet somebody new, the first question i'm asked is "do you sing as well?"...and everytime,i reply in the negative with my usual false smile pasted on my face. truth is...i've always wanted to learn to sing. it's just that...people, (assuming that i'll do it as part of some tradition) piss me off.
but, yesterday,as i sat in that hall/chapel and heard the college choir, my old desire to learn music, came back with a bang! i have made up my mind to join the choir asap. it was the nicest thing that i'd heard in a very long time and bertie da silva (literally) took my breath away! it was PHENOMENAL!....and for those of you who werent there for it...trust me guys, you dont wanna miss it next time.
well anyway, nandini and i behaved like two starry-eyed thirteen year olds, when we went up to talk to bertie! o, and i was nice to christina as well!
the next part of the evening was..umm...well...bizarre. i dont really know what to say about it...my recollection of it is rather hazy. i just want to apologize to the parties concerned for any embarrassment that i might have caused.
on a brighter note, i met some of my oldest friends after a very long time. we had fun in spite of me!
jaihok...i gotta go now...more later.

"...something touched me deep inside, the day the music died...", she hummed the tune in spite of herself for perhaps the fiftieth time that evening. Then, placing her coffee mug rather precariously on the window- sill, and shivering a little as a gust of the early winter breeze rushed into the room, she wrapped her arms around herself.
Outside, the security guards and chauffeurs played a board game which from five stories high, vaguely resembled ‘ludo’. Her neighbour was doing his usual rounds of the complex with his dog, and she saw the lady in the opposite building, sitting comfortably on a divan next to the window and heard her saying into the telephone '...but you have to promise not to tell anybody'
Another cold breeze dashed in at her and pushing her hair back from her face, she finally closed the window.
5:45 pm.
The television, which she had forgotten to turn off, now played a B-grade Bengali movie. Unwittingly, she stared at the screen and watched the action take place. An ugly curly haired man was brandishing a knife rather menacingly at another man, wearing a tomato red sequined jacket over purple trousers. The latter ( as she later realized) was the hero, for he fixed a piercing gaze at the other man (obviously, the bad guy) and instantly two laser beams were emitted from his eyes, and the villain was killed.
6:30 pm.
The heap of clothes strewn over the bed had been lying there all day. She picked up her cream turtleneck sweater and, moving to the mirror, held it up against herself. It had a stain on the right sleeve. She ran her fingers through her hair. Her highlights were beginning to fade away. She considered getting that model’s colour but wondered if it would suit her complexion…oh well!
The plastic bags were neatly stacked under the mattress. She pulled out five, and not knowing what to do next, sat down and began folding the sweater.
It was pretty cold…even for winter. She wondered what the temperature was like...8 degrees, 9 degrees? Surely not higher than that! Yet, last night she’d had to turn on the fan at it’s highest speed because of the heat...and still she hadn’t been able to sleep...she’d laid awake till dawn,...her face wet; her skin hot...feverish.
An hour later she finished all her work. Picking up the guitar from its place behind the bed, she placed it on her lap and pulled at its strings. There was just one tune that she knew how to play, and she played it. He had tried teaching her other tunes, but she’d never managed to learn! It was kind o’ like that stupid move he liked so much and wanted her to do, but she never ever got it right!
8:00 pm.
She made two phone calls and brought out her bags from the bedroom. All the lights besides the reading lamp were switched off; the coffee mug was taken off the window-sill and put on the sink; the unread morning paper was placed on the rack; the hand phone was placed on the cradle; the ring was left on the table, by the ashtray.
"...something touched me deep inside, the day the music died...", she hummed the tune in spite of herself for perhaps the fifty first time that evening, and then walking out the door, she closed it behind her.

yeah! yeah!

today was one of those days when everything seems nicer and prettier than usual. you know...the sky looks bluer, the grass looks greener, the hot guy in college looks hotter, and bertie's teeth (probably) look cleaner!
i suddenly discovered that my friends, who under normal circumstances like nothing better than to seize every possible opportunity to embarrass me; and who seem to be under the impression that my pet name is 'bitch',...are actually (to quote sudu) "ok". i got loads o' cool stuff from them, including a winnie the pooh whom i've henceforth christened "poltu". (useless piece of info no.159...but what the hell...thanks, u guys!)
o well...although my day overall was a good one, i had a brief encounter with papa eaton in the morning and believe you me, that wasnt 'pretty' or 'nice'....o but we'll talk abt that later.
sudu and i gave vent to a lot of pent up frustration today...specially me...and man! it felt SO good...even at the cost of nandini's utmost consternation! sorry dude...but i just couldnt help myself!
i've become very patient of late..as in, i listen to people...i dont blow my top as quickly as i used to, before. four people gave me the same advice regarding a present dilemma and i didnt yell at any of them...is that nice or is that nice?! (useless piece of info no.160)...see this is what happens when people have such uninteresting lives...there's simply NOTHING worthwhile to talk about.
o btw,...congrats on the new blog tdg...i knew you'd join me soon enough...now i have 1 more person besides sudu and shorty to comment on my blog! damnit! i should've made some friends in college while there was still time!...(sigh) o well.
just when you think your future's gonna be one screwed up mess, your past comes back to haunt you and you cannot decide which is better...or for that matter, worse...what do you do then? if you know, then please let me know...a friend is in great distress (read:on the verge of insanity) and would be much relieved with a solution.
i'm gonna put up a really nice pic sometime soon..its a pic of me with the 3 men in my life....till then...adios!

That's my valentine. Aint he cute?!

spoilt, bratty, bitchy me!

yeah ok... i confess...i'm a spoilt brat! but hell!...'i feel good!!!' i did something very noble today..(or atleast i'm trying to convince myself that i did)...and just for the record (tdg, sudu and shorty)...there were no... lets say...'unfortunate' repurcussions!
i dont know why i started writing this...dont really have much to say at the moment. for some reason i feel like being really 'neka' and watching some really corny chick-flick wih loads o' corny dialogues. do u ever feel like that?
i finished reading 'of mice and men'....i loved it. i mean his style really appealed to me...lets see if i can get my hands on some of his other works.
i'm gonna post my nephew's picture sometime soon...i'm crazy abt that kid!...o and i'm thinking of posting some really lousy poetry just for the sake of it...i mean i havent really made a 'real' post till now have i?...o but then...who cares?! i'm too happy today to talk of depressing things...i love how i'm so superficial...small things like new clothes make my day! would you believe that?
i did something so goddamn outrageous this evening that i dare not put it up on my blog, and stand the risk of scandalizing the precious 4 readers that i have! i mean...all i can say is that it was bizarre ( even by my standards!)
you know...the more i watch desperate housewives...the more similarities i find between gabriel solis and me.... although i'm NOT having an affair with my gardener! we're both selfish and self-centred, and love luxury of all form, and we both HATE the idea of work (yuck!)...who do you think you're like?
well anyway...lemme know when you figure it out...i'm gonna go catch up on some good ol' sudoku ( bless you tdg!)

...o well

u know...everytime you think life couldnt get any worse for you, you get a rude little shock, and find out that you've been "re-jacked" by precious life....my best friend has a very interesting msn sign in name: 'no one dies a virgin...life fucks everyone!' i couldnt agree more with her. you get everything that you wish you didnt,...and more. being taken for granted by everybody who knows you; trying to fit in and then being laughed at when you fail; realizing that you're no better than that girl you used to pick on in school; losing the only talent that you ever had....it's a complete package...and believe it or not, it comes for free!
the funny thing is i'm not the only victim...i've seen many of my friends and aquaintances facing the same dilemma, and the ease with which they surpass that phase never fails to surprize me. this one time, i couldnt help myself and went up to this friend of mine and asked him his secret for survival. after taking a long drag from his self-rolled joint, he looked at me from behind his rimless glasses and said in a deeply philosophical voice 'dude...u just need to stop givin a damn.'
i was delighted with this advice...so simple and yet so obviously effective! i tried it for a while...almost a year, and then gave up. that's what i always do...give up. my old maths sir used to say this to me all the time...'you give up too easily'. i know i do...i'm a quitter. it's not like i dont give 'a damn'....ofcourse i do...i mean..why shouldnt people give a damn? why is it ok to say 'screw you' and feel triumphant? i just lack determination of any kind, shape or form. i was talking to nandini yesterday...and she's equally confused...why dont people give a damn? do you think i should write a book on this? "why dont you give a damn?" could well become as famous as "who is john galt?"....afterall they're both important questions. do you think i'm being too caustic?
dont you just hate sundays? i think it is the worst day of the week...yes..worse than mondays. on a monday, you know that you've gotta work for six more days...the useless week of redundant labour has already begun....but it's the anticipation of it on a sunday evening that makes it ten times worse.
o well...